Friends

Today an angered, sleepy 2 year old came into the coffee shop with his mother and screamed consistently from the time he walked in to the time she dragged him away from the counter. To be fair his mom was being kind of a douche. I mean, to expect a 2 year old to behave himself without really engaging him at all in the food decision making process in a playful manner (especially when he hasn't had a nap yet) is a little bit too much to ask. Wow, now that I think of it, that's really shitty thing to do. So, I worked my magic. I quickly served up a blueberry crumb cake that they ordered and I had him "help me" put whipped cream on top by counting together. Then he "helped" me carry it to the table. And he "helped" me count all the forks and unfold his napkin. Bytheby, lady, all of these ideas work better than yelling. Justsoyaknow. Anyway, after I left the toddler therapy zone, I looked up and everyone was beaming/grinning/cooing. Oh yeah, I am pretty good at this stuff.

[Then, other shitty stuff happened. I forgot to register for the Monument 10k and the registration was closed, I asked off for the wrong weekend ANYWAY, and I realized that most other people got A's on the policy paper (ok, the really smart Macro concentration students... but still!) and I got an effing B+. Sigh.]

Good things came of the previously stated shitty things however. I got a free day to go do fun silly stuff with my fave boy, ever (I'm going to keep my day off!). I realized that I am SO much better at micro/human behavior stuff. See above story about conquering two year olds. I am already banging out a paper not even close to being due for my human behavior class! I think I've found the best place for me as far as my skills go... Helloooo awesome GPA!

 I am honored and humbled to be part of this show, tomorrow night at the UCB-LA. Thanks to the sheer incredible wattage of my name alone, advance tickets are sold out. The show is, as you have surmised, 140 people reading one tweet each. Epic. If you have enjoyed my work on Twitter, please feel free to suggest a favorite tweet of mine in the comments section here. Or tell me to go fuck myself, but keep the following in mind:

If I cried a river just for you,
Would you swim in it some sunny afternoon?

Retiring fagelah democrat Eric Massa called Rahm Emmanuel the "son of the devil's spawn." Which I'm sure was meant as a devastating dis, but really just makes Rahm the devil's grandson -- or one quarter hellion -- and is really not that intimidating at the end of the day.

Roy Ashburn (D-CA) -- he of DUI with a guy in the car after defending 'traditional marriage' --announced officially that he's gay . So I give him a lot more credit than I do closet cases like Larry Craig. But seriously, though, fuck him.

And also, SNL called it -- Nancy Pelosi isn't going anywhere. Jesus Christ could come back, get his MD at UC - Santa Barbara and run for office in her district, but unless he did it on the Democratic ticket, he'd be lucky to show up on the ballot. Jello Biafra ran for mayor and finished 4th out of 10 in San Francisco.* Do your worst, Republicans.


* please notice that no one in that clip ever says "Dead Kennedys."